Cocktail- the masti time........

Masti....
 hmmm the cocktail party,  desire of all.Well its the time to enjoy ,to just forget all works of busy wedding and get lost in fun with friends and relative.

Plan ahead

How you lay out the party space can affect how much fun everyone has. For example, don't put the bar and snack table in the same spot. The entire crowd will be concentrated in that one cramped space. If you do have a snack table, put it on the opposite side of the room. Instead or in addition, distribute bowls of munchies throughout your space for meandering guests and sudden snack attacks.

Know your numbers

Curious about how much liquor to buy? It depends on how many people you're inviting. For example, a bottle of wine will yield 6 half glasses while a bottle of champagne, 6 to 12 flutes. Assuming that guests are using two ounces of liquor per mixed drink, a quart will yield 16 to 21 drinks; a liter, 17 to 22 drinks. Assume at least two drinks per guest.

Know the people

Don't do a sweep of the liquor shelves, grabbing every type of liquor you've ever heard of and that might possibly be used in a drink. You know whom you're inviting. It's okay, and more economical, to limit people's choices of liquors. Just be sure to have lots of mixers on hand such as juices (especially orange and lemon), soda, water, and colas.

Invent something special

Mark the occasion of your first party by inventing a totally new cocktail. The fun part is that you get to invent one (which means lots of experimenting!) and then name it.

Get enough glasses

The point of a cocktail party is drinks, yes? Make sure you've got plenty of glasses on hand for whatever you're serving: beer mugs, wine glasses, martini glasses, soda glasses, and so on. Don't forget plates for hors d'oeuvres and lots of napkins, too.

Stock up on snacks

Ample nibbles are essential . Don't skimp! If your guests are drinking on empty stomachs, your swanky cocktail party could become a disaster in no time. To minimize stress, look for snacks that are easy to prepare (as in, open bag, pour in bowl) or that can be prepared ahead of time.

Create an atmosphere and ambience

Swank or serene, or exotic: The most intriguing party scene goes beyond the basics to beguile all of the senses. Taste is there in all that you serve. Next concentrate on smell (scented candles), sight (lighting, plus the colour and shape of finger food, plates, and serve ware), and sound (music). When all of the elements come together, your soiree is a success.

Choose good music

The goal of good background music is to keep your guests relaxed and the gab flowing. Music that is too loud will force people to yell at each other and discourage , while a frenetic tempo will put people on edge.

Delegate to your delegates!

Don't be saddled with the responsibility of being the sole bartender on duty -- how can you enjoy the party and greet everyone if you're stuck filling drink requests? Be sure you have all the appropriate tools available for guests to make their own: blender, jigger, shaker, strainer, and corkscrew opener. Then simply point them in the right direction. One note: Keep an eye out for dwindling supplies such as ice and glasses, so that you can restock as needed.

Dont forget to have dry sober drivers!

The responsible sober drivers that transport all the happy people home. Make sure you take care of these guests, too, with water, juices, sodas, or iced tea.

Hot tip: Have your guests name your new cocktail  it could be great fun.

Mehndi Ki Raat.....

 Mehndi ki raat

Weddings in India are considered to be a sacred and sanctified ritual. They are long ritualistic and elaborate affair with lots of pre-wedding, wedding, post wedding ritual. The occasion of Mehendi is one of the most important pre-wedding rituals. It is fun a filled ritual, which is celebrated mainly by the bride's family. Different regions of the country celebrate the ritual in a different way according to their own marriage customs, rituals, and culture. The celebrations also depend on the wealth and status of the people. The bride's family celebrates Mehendi party for gathering bride’s friends and relatives for blessing the bride as well as for amusement.

The ceremony is mostly held at bride's place or sometimes in a banquet hall on the eve of the marriage ceremony or few days before the marriage. On this occasion a professional henna designer or some relative applies mehendi to the bride’s hands and feet. There are few places in India where it is a ritual that the first motif of henna or mehendi is applied by the bride’s sister-in-law whereas there are some places where the first mehendi motif is said to be auspicious if applied by bride’s mother.

The Mehendi or henna motif is not only the adoration of the bride rather it epitomizes her transformation from a virgin girl to a temptress for her husband. As per Kama Sutra, henna is one of the sixty four arts of women. Popular motifs of the bridal mehendi are conchshell, flowers, Kalash, peacock, doli and baraat patterns. The intricate motifs of the bridal henna also hide the husband’s name. It is said that the husband’s name in the intricate henna motifs is made for the groom who has to find out his name in his bride’s mehendi as an evidence of his sharp eyes and active brain to impress his girl.

Mehendi function is usually organized with the sangeet function. So, it has a festive feel to it with the women dancing and singing traditional songs on the mehendi ritual. The bride is dressed in light color clothes with light jewelry. According to the custom the bride must not step out of the house after the mehendi ritual until the wedding day. It is believed that the darker and deeper the henna stains the more the husband and the in-laws will love her bride. The ritual of mehendi signifies the strength and power of love in a marriage so it is regarded good omen for the would-be bride. It is said that the long the bride retains the mehendi, the more auspicious would be her future.

Sangeet....

 Ladies sangeet
 

Indian Wedding is not only about serious rituals and customs rather it is also full of several fun filled rituals and frothy moments. Though people in India regard marriage more as a religious affair, the elements of fun and frolic are also added into it, to make this emotional affair, somewhat light and amusing. In fact, most of the pre-wedding rituals are designed in a way that there is a scope of entertainment. Be it haldi, mehendi or sangeet, all the pre-wedding ceremonies are full of light and amusing moments; however among all the pre wedding celebrations sangeet party is the most enjoyable one.

The sangeet ceremony is also known as ‘gaun’. This custom heightens the excitement of wedding festivities. In the earlier days the custom of gaun used to last for ten days but with the passage of time, as people didn't have more time to spend due to demanding work schedules, the custom has usually reduced to a one night function. At the bride's home women relatives and friends play the dholki and sing suhaag, which is a traditional folk song. Songs include 'jokes' about the in-laws, and would be husband how to have a successful marriage like and songs about the bride leaving her parents home. Similarly the women at the groom's home sing songs called ghoriya. Traditionally only the women celebrated this ceremony but nowadays the concept has changed as both men and women participate to celebrate this occasion.

In most of the families, the sangeet party is celebrated on an elaborate scale and is a very grand affair. However, in some families, it is also celebrated along with the mehendi function. It is generally done to save time. The sangeet party may be celebrated both as a separate or a joint event in both the families. However people generally prefer to make it a joint affair nowadays to make it more interesting and amusing. As a joint affair before the marriage ceremony, it also becomes a platform developing familiarity of the bride and groom with each others family.

Though sangeet function is an important pre-wedding function of all north Indian weddings, it is most popular trend among Gujaratis and Punjabis. Among the Gujaratis Garba dance is a favored alternative. They are mostly held in a big hall, which are beautifully decorated where people come dressed in ethnic Gujarati wear. The sangeet party mainly involves traditional dance, which is known as Garba, and dandia raas, which is dancing with sticks. The Raas Garba usually ends with a light supper for all those attending. In Punjabis, the Giddha nad Bhangra are the popular dance forms for the Sangeet night ceremony.

God Bharai.....

God Bharai

In the Indian subcontinent, it is a tradition to hold a Godh Bharai ceremony in Hindus, basically, on two occasions. One is before a wedding and the second is in the seventh month of pregnancy of an expectant lady. In the first case, the Goad Bharai marks the ceremony in which the family members of the groom officially accept a girl as the daughter of their family. The entire ceremony is conducted by females and male members are not allowed to attend it. The girl is made to dress up in a heavy sari, but without any ornaments.

Thereafter, she is asked to sit on a chair with the sari's 'palla' in her godh (lap). The mother, sister and sisters-in-law of the groom dress up the girl, with jewelry, bangles, cosmetics, etc. Then, along with all the other female members of the family, they apply tikka on her forehead and place gifts in the godh (lap) of the would-be-bride, on top of her palla. While giving gifts, they bless her, asking God to bless the couple with a long and happy married life. After receiving the gifts, the girl touches the feet of all the elder females. They also feed her sweets.

In the second case, the Godh Bharai ceremony is held in India, in the seventh month of pregnancy of an expectant female. This ceremony takes place at the matrimonial home of the woman. Just like the previous ceremony, this one is also held only the female family members of the would-be-father and the would-be-mother. The expectant woman is dressed just like a bride, complete with the jewelry, make up and everything. Thereafter, she is asked to sit on a chair/sofa and place her 'palla' in her godh (lap).

Now, starts the Godh Bharai ceremony. All the women attending the ceremony place a gift they have, for the would-be-mother or her baby, in her godh and then apply a tika on her forehead. After that, they feed her sweets & khichri, of rice, moong daal and til, cooked in desi ghee. The mother of the woman also gives her daughter, gifts for her husband as well as in-laws. Then, they whisper something auspicious in her ear - usually their blessings. She thanks all the elder woman by touching their feet. Last but not the least; they celebrate the impending arrival of the child by singing and dancing.

Roka and Sagai.............

Roka

When two families agree that young man should marry young lady,the very next step is to perform a roka or rokna ceremony.The literal translation of the word rok is to stop or halt and word rokna means to prohibit,ban,prevent or hinder.In order to publicly ban a further search for suitable match by either family. the roka ceremony is performed.

Its a simple ceremony where girls family may present a token gift in cash or kind,along with some sweets to the young man.Similarly his family reciprocates the gesture.In some family the two may exchange rings.The ceremony may be conducted among the two families an can later be announced among relatives and friends.

Sagai


As for sagai ,the literal translation is betrothal ceremony.It is a formal contract between the two families and more elaborate than the earlier ceremony.A brahmin priest may conduct the ceremony.He first directs the prayers to lord Ganesha folowed by a prayers to Navgrah.The prayer to lord Ganesha seeks blessings so that there may be no obstacles.The prayer to Navgrah seeks there blessings and benevolence.The young lady's brother then applies Tilak on the young man's forehead and give him gifts and sweets.Gifts are given to young man and his relatives.


The young man;s family gifts clothes to young lady.In some families jewelery is also presented.The relatives of the young man may present gifts in cash or kind to the young lady.The ceremony completed and refreshments are served to those present.

Shaadi customs and rituals.....

Indian marriage- Endless customs and rituals....

The heterogeneous form of Indian culture accounts for diverse types of customs and rituals observed in the marriages. Whether it is east, west, south or north but one thing remains universal in all weddings that all the families and friends gather under one roof to celebrate the union of the man and the women in holy matrimony.

Almost all marriages have three stages of ceremonies. The pre-marriage celebrations, the wedding day and the post-wedding ceremonies. Every ceremony being picturesque and characterized by explicit music for every occasion.

The marriage customs and rituals depend satirically on the community one belongs to. But some customs and rituals can be seen almost in every Indian wedding.

General marriage customs and rituals

Mehndi or henna application is a familiar ritual. It is applied on the feet and hands of the bride. It is believed that if henna dries and leaves off with a dark color then she will be blessed with the love of her mother-in-law. Else she should be prepared for an antagonistic behavior by her mother-in-law. Bride’s friends see this as a good opportunity to tease the bride. In some communities even the grooms apply henna designs on their hands and feet.

Garland ceremony is another general ritual. So are the tying of the mangal-sutra around bride’s neck and the kanyadaan in which parents of the bride hand over their daughter to the groom taking the deities as their witness.

The famous liturgy of vadaii of the bride from her home is a sensitive point of time. The ceremony is marked by striking traditional songs.

Peccant side of rituals and customs

An ancient custom in Indian marriages include dowry giving. The dowry was given in old times to the bride by her parents so she may start her new life without being much dependent on anyone. But such customs has been abused and in-laws excruciate the bride and annoy her parents for the greed of dowry.

Marriage is a union between two people and all the marriage customs and rituals are done to bless them and wish them a happy married life. At least this is what is written in the Puranas.

Shaadi and its types.......

Arranged and love marriages

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”

by Germaine Nash

Something in our heart says that everyone should get married for at least once in their life-time. I am sure all will buy this statement.

But the burning question is what would be the better way of entering the institute of marriage? Both arrange and love marriages have their own share of frills and follies.

Love marriages

You meet someone and become extremely attracted to her/him. After dating for a few while and getting to know each other you both mutually decide to tie the wedding knot. Next step being breaking the news to parents. If you are fortunate they may welcome your decision. Else elope. Which I am not recommending.

Merits include that you know your partner well and so you know what to expect after marriage. Being a mutual decision there is an obvious strong desire to stay together.

Good to keep obstacles at bay.

The bitter truth about love marriages is that in case something goes wrong you are the only one to be blamed. No one else. Another fair thing to say here would be that you being in love might not be a good judge about your partner.

Arranged marriages

In today’s world of tight professional schedules one hardly gets time to pee let alone finding a life partner. Some panic at the idea of dating someone and taking time out and spend over them. Believe me such people do exist. For example myself. For people like us arrange marriages come to the rescue. Parents and matchmakers may arrange your marriage. Sounds easy? You just saw one face of the coin

The obvious merit is complete support of the family at all stages. It saves your time in looking for a partner which is nothing less than another job.

Initially it may be difficult to break the ice and get the communication started. In arranged marriages it is often seen that one doesn’t feel the freedom to explore much. There is always seen some form of hesitation and the decisions depend upon what the “family” may think.

Both arranged and love marriages thrive on mutual care and understanding. There are cases of love in arrange marriages and no-love in love marriages. Choice is yours.

Shaadi aka wedding aka vivah......

Shaadi is a process of connecting two souls for life.The connection which has been made by god in heaven and is made formal on earth by humans.

Exploration of the answer to –What is Marriage?

It is something their parents did. It is something your parent’s worry you might not do. This something is called by the name of Marriage.

Speaking in a social language, Marriage is a union between a man and women which gives the couple a legal, religious and social acceptance for living together and have a legitimate sexual relationship. In other words it allows them to have a lot of rights, as observed by the renounced anthropologist Edmund Leach.

Marriages are observed in almost all civilized communities of the world. There are such heterogeneous types of ethnologically different societies in this world that it is impossible to give definition of marriage in terms of rituals and customs. The definition of marriage between a man and a woman doesn’t stand corrected in today’s changing life trends. For example in 1930s Nuer in eastern Africa performed conjugal relationships and “ghost marriages”. A “Ghost marriage” being a marriage between the women whose husband dies without any heir and in order to give an inheritor to the family she marriages one of his brothers.

So, what is marriage?

Interestingly there are several faces of this term .One side of the dice is a legal monogamous heterosexual relationship which gives the couple right to have a legitimate sexuality and another being practicing of polygamy in which a man has several wives or a women has several husbands. Indian history shouts out examples of each category.

In some jurisdictions the marriage of same sex is acceptable and legal.

Whatever be the denotation of this question but my grandmother told me that it is a step towards starting a new life with a life-long partner with whom you conceive children and nurture them together in order to have a family of your own.

With the ever changing life–styles and introduction of the live-in relationships the institution of marriage is under constant threat of collapsing.

Even after so much research it is impossible to give a one line answer to the question- what is marriage?